Talismans

Talismans of a former life gathered into boxes

how many broken things and lost memories

how much of a life can I

wrap up in rags of jeans I wore to tatters

what will break? 

Each treasure is a world, anyone else seeing them can only wonder. 

or scoff

I left behind my soul

in a room

traveled to a far-off land

where no one cared

about the new white girl at school

toys left behind

home left behind

childhood

now I seem to move on for a living

as if it brought something to me, instead of always taking away

talismans in my hands, but we all live only in our heads

little ceramic caterpillar that my daughter painted, do not break

you are the memory of her generosity

a little box she painted, with all her baby-teeth inside

pictures and the works of her hands,

now I remember how much I love this little girl

so far away

in miles

in years

I have no faith, anymore, in some mystical being

who will keep us together

I lose something every day, another day,

hopeful not to lose the memories

no one may die, none be lost, I hold the little plastic boat you gave me

the case of your father's memories

a candle that we burned together, three hundred wimmin in a field

it's time for me to move on again. 

This is why I remember;

I've lost too much, so you are precious

You

all our memories together,

all the Universe inside your head, I wonder what is in there, what you think,

and here are my talismans

I like to pretend they keep me safe

wrapped up in ragged jeans

cradled in boxes

I'm moving again.  

September 2010